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Yes I am in Hong Kong. Yes I am extremely dehydrated. I'm not dead yet. Too much cheap stuff to die. Bargain hunting is great. This makes no sense. Sorry.

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You are three men of sin.

You are three men of sin, whom destiny that hath to instrument this lower world and what it isn't, the never surfeited sea hath caused to belch up you and on this most desolate island where man doth not inhabit you mongst men being most unfit to live. I have made you mad, but even with such like-valor men hang and drown their proper selves.

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Throw me away then.

I'm not selfish. Selfish is reading that one of your close friends is suicidal and then thinking 'oh well, nothing I can do about it' and making yourself some two minute noodles and going about your daily business. I loathe being called selfish because it's the last thing I am. In my head maybe I could be called selfish. But my outward persona is far from it. I help disadvantaged children who ask four thousand questions a day on the same useless topic and only occasionally lose my patience.

Suicide is selfish. It's the most selfish act one can perform. Taking your own life without a thought to the destructive memories you'd leave behind. Not only that but refusing help when offered it.

I just don't know what else to do. I don't understand this.

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One of my best friends has stopped eating. Straight up, just stopped. I don't know what to do. Whenever I tell him to eat he says he's full, or that he'll have some later. I want to tie him down and force sandwiches down his throat until he looks healthy again.

How does one stage an intervention?

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I will never understand females. I've know this one girl for years. We met at a festival years ago and keep bumping into each other around the place. Now that I've changed schools and actually put a massive effort into looking ridiculously pretentious, she wants to be my best buddy.

This is a girl who never gave a flying fuck about me until this year. She's top shit. She knows it, too. I'm not top shit. I've accepted that. That's cool. I'm okay with chillin' with my buddies. I DON'T NEED SELFISH TWATS LIKE YOU BARGING IN AND GIVING ME SELF ESTEEM OKAY.

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Well fuck you too then.

I don't apologise when I'm not in the wrong. I also don't keep things from my best friends. I trust them. I confide in them. Clearly other people do this too. I trust them to leave well enough alone and to let me make my own decisions about people.

To be perfectly frank, I didn't do anything wrong. There is no imbalance here. The same on both sides. The scales are equal. Fair is fair. Get on with it.

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Big Ben.

I met this guy. He's into August Burns Red and The Kooks, he quotes The IT Crowd with me and sang the emergency number over Skype, he tweets hilarious rubbish, thinks my Pedo Bear is the coolest thing since sliced bread, didn't sleep for three days just so he could talk to me and makes YouTube videos of his cat. He called me perfect and amazing.

But he's in England and it sucks.

Writer's Block: Trading Places

If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you want to be, and why?
Despite my apparent despise for myself, I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I don't think I could handle thinking differently, or living within another persons world.

I find it hard enough to live with myself. How could I live as anyone else?

Writer's Block: Poetry Break

Write a poem or share one that you like.
The Road Not Taken- Robert Frost

My favourite poem.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


I bought a bike. She's pretty.

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